The Harmful Effects of Hurry
“A way of living with ease, gratitude, appreciation, peace, and prayer. A way of working from rest, not for rest, with nothing to prove. A way of bearing fruit from abiding, not ambition.”- John Comer (The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry)
Every year I set a resolution to slow down, which means every year I fail to succeed in this endeavor. By slow down, I don’t mean necessarily physically slowing down, but rather to slow down the thoughts of my head, to become more comfortable being still. I had some time off recently and was able to do some reflecting on this goal before I dared to set it again in 2024. I was also gifted a book titled The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry from a dear friend. The gift could not have been more timely.
Here are some honest nuggets of my continued learning:
My hurry is self-induced. From stop light social media surfing to my obsession with multi-tasking, I realized I was actively avoiding being in silence and being still. Why? I don't have a full answer for this yet but do know being still and embracing silence meant facing thoughts and emotions I would prefer to keep pushing away. It was the realization that very things I was doing (too much screen scrolling, running from one thing to the next, etc.) were the very things that were creating the feelings I was avoiding and in turn creating an anxiousness I thought was just a part of life. I have a fear if I let myself get really quiet and still what God may reveal. Will I be prepared to answer the call, or scarier, yet will I be prepared to stay right where I am because that’s His plan for now?
Ambition is different from contribution. Being still meant I had to acknowledge that I may be allowing certain roles in my life to carry more weight and to consume an unhealthy amount of headspace. I realized I want to pursue work where I can contribute. That’s what success is to me now- contribution to a greater good and a cause outside of myself, rather than racking up accomplishments and achievements. Being still has allowed me to prepare to “re-enter” a world where personal accomplishments and achievements are glorified and worshiped. As John Comer states, “ A successful life has become a violent enterprise.”
Hurry robs my margins and my relationships. Being in a frantic state to tackle the next accomplishment or achievement, has eliminated any margins I have to create, explore, nurture, love, and learn. When I eliminate margins for these things, I am forced back into an unhealthy state of overidentifying with particular roles that demand my time. I am also robbing myself of the growth and wisdom that can only come from being still. And when I rob myself of growth and wisdom, I am failing to evolve into the person I was created to be and miss opportunities to contribute and serve.
Free. Removing myself from the chaos of the digital world more frequently and embracing solitude has helped me overcome the trap of image protection and status seeking. It’s the most freeing feeling to truly know you are investing in your growth as a human being and serving from a calm, centered, and aware state, therefore the image others hold of you becomes increasingly unimportant. You take full control of your story.
Chess and Puzzles. Because my mind was free from the anxiety producing habits such as scrolling, comparing, and speculating, time was opened up to allow my 9 year old to teach me how to play chess, to work on puzzles with my two boys, to be inspired through lots of reading, and to begin to map out retirement plans and reminisce with my husband. It also allowed me to begin to gain clarity that only comes from silence. Clarity around contributions God may be calling me to make in my future.
I tend to think through a leadership lens in many things. My prayer is that all of us, because we are all leaders in our own ways, can find the peace, happiness, and joy that comes from embracing “still.” It is through this stillness, we truly are able to stop seeking approval, nurture genuine relationships, and become more comfortable in our own skin.