"Don't Lose Your Fire."

“One does not discover new lands without losing sight of the shore for a very long time.” - Andre Gide 

Andre was a  French writer who examined alienation and the drive for individuality in an often disapproving society; he won the Nobel Prize of 1947 for literature.  It seems perhaps his writing was focused on the differences in the human spirit and personal drive for discovery and exploration of the new and different.  I find myself intrigued by the same ideas, as well as the role leaders play in nurturing a sense of discovery and risk taking in today’s times.  

As I sat in my mother in law’s kitchen over winter break and shared stories, goals, and ideas for the future, a feeling of exhilaration, challenge, and adventure emerged from a place where it had laid dormant for a while.  My mother in law made a statement that both resonated and stuck.  She said, “Whatever you do, don’t lose your fire.” It stuck because I realized it had been a long time since I allowed myself to throw a few logs on the fire of the spirit of adventure and vision.  But why?

In Edwin Friedman’s book, Failure of Nerve- Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, he shares his theories of why leaders of today have lost their nerve and the impact this has on their families, organizations, institutions, etc.  By leaders, he does not mean those who have regaled themselves as leader by title, but rather those who are in a position to influence, which in turn can be any of us. I am only halfway through this read and have more reflecting to do on its teachings, but a key takeaway for me on this topic of leaders who have lost their nerve relates to the idea that because society is riddled with a chronic anxiety we have never seen before, leaders have resigned their values, principles, vision, and their ability to be decisive due to the reactivity, tyrannizing, and blame placed on leaders who desire to see progress and growth.  The fear these leaders have to go against the herd has created leaders who are losing their imaginations and operating in decision paralysis out of fear of lack of approval and sabotage.

 Friedman goes on to express a unique perspective on empathy.  He shares that the empathy and, therefore, alignment of leaders with the louder, perceived majority of the most anxious and discontent group clouds the principles he once stood for, resulting in herds with no leader to pull them out of the dysfunction or leaders who enable the dysfunction by removing the spirit of adventure and challenge with the quick fix of comfort, safety, and certainty. 

Whoa.  I have an incredible amount left to learn from this research, but am reignited by this learning to know that progress is an emotional process that takes time, which flies in the face of our society’s obsession with the quick fix and it also takes leaders who in the spirit of adventure, discovery, and progress are willing to stand in the face of sabotage, disapproval, and loneliness.  Leaders who recognize that working on themselves, discerning constantly what they stand for (their values), and studying their responses to the disapproving is the greatest example of all.  These are leaders who lead with integrity and love.  A deep love that says, “You are capable of more.  Leave shore, take risks.  I am cheering you on. Your growth is out there.”  I want to be that kind of leader.

On my way to finding my fire again, leaving the shore… Who’s with me?

  Thank you mother in law!